If you haven’t already, I’d encourage you to read Part One before continuing – it provides the context for this chapter of my journey…
When we left off, I’d shared that the year of my car accident changed everything. What I haven’t yet unpacked is why I needed to step away from the life I once knew.
The simple answer?
I needed to heal.
Surviving the accident was nothing short of miraculous.
Imagine going to bed believing you’ve had a peaceful night’s sleep, only to wake up in an unfamiliar place, and surrounded by anxious faces. While attention from loved ones is usually comforting, I quickly realised the expressions looking back at me weren’t just filled with love – they were filled with fear, relief, and pity.
That’s when I knew something terrible had happened, and I wasn’t wrong. So, I had to take some time for my:
Physical Healing
The accident left me with a severe head injury, multiple broken bones… and a broken heart. I spent about a month in an induced coma, followed by another month recovering in ICU. When I eventually woke up, I couldn’t walk, speak clearly, write, eat independently, or perform many of the everyday tasks I’d once taken for granted.
So, I gave myself permission to begin again. I relearned the basics, one small victory at a time, until I was strong enough to re-enter society.
Emotional Healing
The physical pain was immense, but the emotional pain ran even deeper.
Imagine waking up to discover that your body no longer responds the way it used to.
Now, imagine learning that the one person you’ve never lived a single day without is now the person you’ll never see again.
No words can truly capture that kind of heartbreak. So, I made space to grieve. I confronted my emotions instead of running from them, and slowly began developing the emotional resilience that continues to serve me today.
Spiritual Healing
One question I’m often asked is whether the accident made me angry with God. The answer isn’t as straightforward as people might expect…
My relationship with God has always been deeply personal, so blaming Him never felt like an option. That doesn’t mean I never wrestled with difficult questions or painful emotions. I certainly did.
What made that season harder was feeling judged for asking those questions – as though doubt somehow cancelled faith. Instead, I chose to give God room to rebuild my spiritual foundation, not through performance or obligation, but through relationship 💕
Healing Myself
Perhaps the most important healing of all was simply making time for myself.
Major life changes demand more than recovery – they require us to accept a new reality, regroup, and gently discover what life looks like on the other side.
That’s exactly what I did. I accepted that what had happened was real. Then, little by little, I learned how to keep living!
Because healing became my greatest priority, I naturally stepped back from all my church responsibilities. For the first time in years, I was simply a congregant
Something unexpected happened during that season. Being heavily involved in church leadership had given me front-row seats to the realities behind the scenes. Unfortunately, all that “backstage access” made it increasingly difficult for me to sit through a sermon with an open heart. My mind had become distracted by Church Culture rather than centred on God 😔
Then a family friend invited me to attend Mass at their Catholic parish. I went, observed, and fell in love. The reverence, the rhythm, the quietness, and the centuries-old traditions gave me something my soul had been longing for. Eventually, I chose to become Catholic.
Today, I intentionally honour Sundays as days of Sabbath. I attend Mass regularly, but I no longer serve in any ministries – and that decision is completely intentional. I’ve chosen to step away from what I call Church Culture while continuing to pursue a relationship with God…
What exactly do I mean by Church Culture? That’s a conversation for Part Three. I hope you’ll join me. Before then, I’d love to hear from you:
Have you ever had to step away from something you loved – not because you no longer believed in it, but because you needed space to heal?
Yours (but mine first),
If I ever wake up and question the existence of God, thinking about what you went through and how you overcame is a clear indication that God exists. You fought my friend, well done.
Aaah Phindz, what you’re saying is so true – thank you & God bless you 🙏🏾 😘 ❣️