The concept of self-love has always felt a little mysterious to me — don’t you think?
What fascinates me most about self-love is how selective we tend to be with it. After all, one of the most universally known truths about human nature is that we love ourselves. We love ourselves so much that even in English grammar, when referring to ourselves in writing, we must use a capital letter “I” — not a humble lowercase “i”.
Why? Because the self is considered important!
Our instinct for self-preservation is another example. The idea of harming ourselves is naturally difficult because, deep down, we are wired to protect and care for ourselves. Even the teachings of faith reflect this truth — we are encouraged to “love our neighbours as we love ourselves.”
Yet despite all these reminders of how important self-love is, we still find ways to neglect it…
We remain in loveless, emotionally draining relationships 💔
We pour our energy into partners, family members, and friends while struggling to invest in our own wellbeing 💔
We treat singleness as though it is a punishment, rather than recognising it as a powerful season of self-discovery 💔
Over time, I have become convinced – beyond reasonable doubt – that the most ideal love story begins with your relationship with yourself. Because once you start loving yourself, something powerful happens:
You Value Your Time More
Spending time alone allows you to truly meet yourself. As you grow comfortable in your own company, you begin to recognise what genuinely brings you joy. Slowly but surely, you stop giving your time to things – and people – that drain your energy. Instead, you choose environments and relationships that respect and value your presence ❤️🔥
You Realise Everything You Need Is Within
Self-love reveals a surprising truth: the love you’ve been searching for was always within you! Often, what we truly crave is our own approval, our own acceptance, our own embrace. When you begin offering that love to yourself, you discover a deep sense of completeness 🥰
You Learn What You Truly Want
Loving yourself encourages deeper introspection. It’s no longer enough to know what you don’t want. Instead, you become curious about your preferences, your values, and the kind of people who truly complement your life and spirit 💞
You Become a Better Lover
When you know, love, and appreciate yourself, you bring a healthier version of yourself into every relationship. Self-love doesn’t make you selfish — it makes you whole. And a whole person is capable of giving love that is genuine, balanced, and life-giving❣️
Having discovered this truth, I can now boldly say that I advocate for self-love — all day, every day. What about you? Have you started loving yourself too?
Lovingly Yours (but mine first),
Self love was a bit of a mystery to me pre-baby. Now I GET it. It’s the simple things for me like filing and painting my nails or plaiting and doing my hair – they make alll the difference
Rosie
You’re so right sis – the little things are actually the greatest 🙌🏾
Great post on self reflection & love!! ❤️ May God bless & keep you on your journey in life & abundantly prosper your ministry. Thanks for sharing 😊
It’s such a pleasure & thanks for your blessings – I receive 🙌🏾
HEAVY on the knowing what you want! Life becomes so much more clear and actually easier in a way, the more self love that you have. Love this 🥰
Agreed – self-love is the gift that keeps on giving 🎁
Love this post and couldn’t agree more. Self-love is hard. It’s not just an easy fix and you can’t just snap your fingers and it’s done. It’s a hard fight to learn to love yourself after years of self-hate! But once you get there, things get easier!
You’re spot on – couldn’t have said it better 💯 Bless you & your journey 🤍
This was a lovely exploration of self-love and how important it is to our well-being. Thank you so much for sharing this; it was the reminder I needed!
It’s such a pleasure & I’m glad you could relate – bless you 🤍
Beautifully explained. Accepting ourselves is crucial for good relationships and a positive outlook in life.
Thank you so much for your kind words, and I completely agree — self-acceptance truly lays the foundation for healthier relationships and a more positive outlook on life 👌🏾
Thank you for discussing this! I tolerated a lot of toxic relationships and friendships because I didn’t love myself. I’m glad I started loving myself more and now have healthier relationships and friendships! Progress isn’t linear, but I already have a health group of people who are there to hold on to me when I’m falling apart.
Thank you for sharing this so honestly — your journey is powerful and deeply inspiring. I’m so glad you’ve found your way to healthier, more loving spaces. And you’re absolutely right, progress isn’t linear… but you’re clearly growing in all the right ways❣️