I believe that a great lover first understands their own love language and consistently honours it before expecting others to do the same.
This belief has been shaped by my life experiences, particularly through my Lessons Called Exes. More importantly, it has been deepened by the intentional time I’ve spent with myself. In that space, I’ve conducted what I can only describe as a ‘love needs analysis’ – and my truth is this: if I desire to receive love externally, it must first exist abundantly within me!
One of the most powerful tools in understanding how you wish to be loved is identifying your love language. I discovered mine through the Love Languages quiz, and below is a reflection of how I currently show up for myself through my top three love languages 🥰
Quality Time
At the start of each day, I intentionally create space for myself through my morning routine. Whether it’s a jog, bodyweight training, or yoga, this time allows me to gently awaken both my body and mind. More than that, it becomes a daily check-in, a moment to meet myself where I am.
My days are often filled with serving clients and teaching students, so I prioritise reconnecting with myself in the evening. Through meditation and journalling, I return home to myself.
Words of Affirmation
My mornings are also rooted in prayer and affirmations. Over time, I’ve curated three sets of affirmations inspired by my Self Therapy journey, and they’ve become a powerful self-soothing practice.
I now speak to myself with love, patience, and encouragement – consistently affirming my worth and appreciating who I am becoming. And truthfully, it feels so good.
Physical Touch
Love, for me, also lives in the gentleness of my own touch. It’s in the soft temple massages when I feel tension rising. It’s in the mindful way I apply lotion after a shower or bath – not as a routine, but as an act of care.
In these small, intentional moments, I remind my body that it is safe, seen, and loved.
Loving myself in these ways has taught me that I am not waiting to be loved – I am already living in love.
I am both the giver and the receiver.
The nurturer and the nurtured.
The home I have been searching for.
And from this place of fullness, I no longer seek love to complete me – but to complement the love that already exists within me ❤️🔥
Lovingly Yours (but mine first),
