This title was my exact reaction when Ms. Phindile ‘DarkBerry’ Dlamini first expressed her idea of organising and hosting a sex party…
Now, this wasn’t in a judgmental way – I’m aware that this has been a ‘private life’ practice for the longest of times, and I found the fact that Phindi wanted to host one loud and proud so inspirational 🙌🏾
I just had to interview the DarkBerry and get as many details about the first commercialised sex party I know of – below is the conversation I had with umaDlamini, shortly after she and her business partner successfully hosted their party:
Before we delve into the gory details, please introduce us to Phindile Dlamini…
I think it’s actually so inaccurate to introduce her, because she changes so much – I’ve lived many lives and I’m living another one so I’m really just this girl who’s discovering herself continuously.
I don’t know where I’ll be next year, or what I’ll be interested in & exploring – so I don’t want to put any titles. But, the umbrella title could be entrepreneur.
What is your vocation & is it aligned with your passion?
As a job, I sell nje mina on a full-time basis. I sell sex toys and cars. I buy cars that have crashed, then I fix them and re-sell them. I’m where the money is – entrepreneur 🙌🏾
Another thing that’s giving me unexpected amounts of income is OnlyFans (OF) 😱 Unlike my YouTube channel, on OF I practically demonstrate my sexual advice with my current sexual partner. I also play with myself, post nudes and other pictures.
I definitely feel like I have found my passion, especially because I grew up in a vertex religious space, where I was told to hide who I am. I’ve always been a ‘sexually hungry’ type of person, but because of where I grew up I was hiding it. Now that I’m open about it I’m feeling more and more like myself and it’s so comfortable.
You have established a sex education vlog - how did that come about?
Initially when I started the channel it wasn’t really focused on sex, but the topics that would get the most attention was when I was talking about sex – so it happened by default.
I also think that it’s helping so many people to discover themselves and understand that it’s really okay to talk about sex, and helping the gentleman understand the woman’s body so they can better please their partners.
It’s very interesting that I receive DMs and emails from even pastors about how to please their partners 👅
So you’ve branded yourself as the DarkBerry - can you tell us the story behind that name?
Growing up being dark skinned, I always felt (& believed) that I’m the ‘ugly version’ or not the prettiest because of my dark skin.
Then as I grew up I accepted that there’s nothing I can do this skin tone, so I’m gonna create my own standard of beauty and I’ll be the Darkest Berry because I got the sweetest juice 🍓
You’ve managed to develop a product-line associated with your brand - please tell us more…
The products under DarkBerry are the sex toys and ASMR on Xvideos.
My brand has recently collaborated with local pornstar Xoli Mfeka and we now have a porn-production, where we shoot pornography with real actors and sell it to different platforms.
Alright, so how did you develop your idea for hosting a sex party?
Xoli and I were like: “people are horny, let’s do something about that!”
Now, the orgy community has existed for so long, but in secret – for which we saw no need for. We just wanted to get together and f😜ck.
Was this the first sex party you’ve attended?
Funny enough, we both had never attended a sex party before – so we were making reality of what was in our respective sexual dreams and fantasies.
How was your personal experience at the sex party?
For me it was very enjoyable, because it’s nice to be in a space with people who are liberated – where they feel safe to express themselves. But, in order to have that space we have to create it…
We have to put away the phones, reassure the participants that their anonymity was kept safe. It was a beautiful space to be in, where everyone was sexually liberated and consensual with it.
It was truly great to see people enjoy themselves and to see our dream come true. But when you’re the host you have to be more vigilant, than enjoy the party.
How did you handle the admin of it all?
There was so much in the back-end 😩 The non-disclosure agreements, COVID regulations, not being held liable if anything happens – yoh!
It was a lot, making sure names weren’t mentioned on social media, that you’ve got everyone’s drink/beverage preferences, who drives/needs a lift – Yoh the admin was crazy.
But the admin was an important part of organising the event.
Have you received any feedback from any of your guests from the party? How did they find it?
Oh yes – the guests were like: “Great party, when is the next one??!”
It’s great that people had fun, as much as we (the hosts) did – especially because the party got a lot of attention especially on Twitter. When we published the poster, the Twitter analytics read that it reached 2 million impressions 😳
We created such a stir – WhatsApp groups were talking about us and the biggest question was: “What’s this R5000 entry fee for???” So making our guests feel safe was our biggest mission 💯
Alright, were you and Xoli co-organising & co-hosting equally and together?
Yes, we were doing both together. I think Xoli and I are establishing such a good business relationship, in that everything that she does I’m gonna be a part of and vice versa.
We empower each other, even though we’re different but we are each other’s pillars.
Do you plan to host any more such parties?
The date is out – 6 November 2021 🥳 We’re doing a photoshoot for the poster and with this one we want to make people very uncomfortable.
There’s always room for improvement, so with this one we’re making sure we have more condoms, lubes and a bigger variety of sex toys. We’re also cutting back time for private sessions – we want everyone to come out and enjoy each other 🤗
I can’t possibly be the only one who’s completely fascinated by this, right Fam? What a great time to be alive – when you are free to own and express your sexuality with no need to worry about anything else either than the position you’ll be trying next 😜
Thank you to Phindi for offering us an insight into her sensual world through this interview. We wish her the very best in all her future endevours – to infinity & beyond 🚀
P.S. Thanks for having a read & you’re MORE than welcome to share your thoughts on our comment section below – looking forward to hearing from you…
Yours – but mine first,
Aphsie ♡
